Best jokes in the world Contest!

1. (Something I saw outside english)
Sausages raped in bacon O_o

2. A boy was assigned the homework to learn the alphabet, So he goes and asks his mum she says "Oh ya know, A B C D... Go and ask your sister!" So he went and asked his sis, she burnt herself on her hair straighteners and said "Ahh shet!" So the boy goes to ask his baby brother who says "in my brum brum car" So he goes to school the next day and his teacher says "Ok James, What's the alphabet?" The boy looked at her, walked to the front of the class and said "Oh, Ya know, A B C D... Ahh shet!" The teacher says "How do ya think you're going to get out of this one?" The boy says "In my brum brum car." :3

Ive got loads,like Why was the Egyptian boy upset?


A.:Becouse his daddy was a mummy but I stil have loads more!

:D HarrY83 8)

Heres my 2nd...what should you do after shaking hands with a monster?


a.count your fingers. :D :affraid:

Q.why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
A.to get to the bottom! :lol!:


Q.what toy is the best athlete?
A.the jock-in-the-box! :lol!:


Q.what king was a football player?
A.king hut-hut-hut! :lol!:

What do you call a elevator full or white people
A= a cracker box

What do u get when u put a bubbly person with a teenager ?
A= That person will die gosh a happy person and a teenager i dont thinik so go wacth some My Chemical Romance videos

If someone says "If I have 10 oranges on this hand and 10 oranges on the other?"
So the other person Says "Big hands"

:lol: HarrY83 :lol:

Knock Knock-
"Whos there?"
"Orange"
"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad to see me?"

*cricket* yeah ur right.... :[

There were three women in a ward giving birth.
The nurse came out and said to the first man
'You have twins!'
the man said 'Awesome! I run a company called 'Two shoes''
Another nurse came out to the next man and said
'Triplets! Two boys and a girl'
the second man said 'Wow! I run a company called 'Three blind mice, to make the weird voices on computers for blind people'
The third man ran to the end of the ward and jumped out of the window.
Another nurse came out and asked 'Where is the third man?'
The first man said
'He was the owner of 7Up'

[left][b]

Q-Why are fish so smart?
A-Because they live in schools!


Q-Why do you never give old people Flamin' Hot Cheetos?
A-Because it gives them Heart "BURN"!



And That's All I have For Now I think.

My joke lol XD

Jhonny:Doctor, Doctor I will die in 59 seconds!

Doctor: I will be with you in 1 minute.


lol XD!!!!!!!

.:Sk3ar:.

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

From PandaForLife.

Farting All The Time
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
"Hmm," says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."


From PandaForLife.

Buy a Mac
I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.

I was against it and an argument started.

I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.

He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"

And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."

From PandaForLife.